Sunday, March 16, 2008

Profits Down 83% This Week

In another sign of the flagging economy, DC area whores are reporting significantly lower profits this week. Only part of the blame can laid on Eliot Spitzer, structural factors are also at play. "Jeanette", as she prefers to be called, says the domination of the religious right over the last decade has been a factor, "although it only seems to stop Democrats." 

"I'm surprised at the economic ignorance being shown by many Republicans" says one DC area Madam. "The monetarist theory says GDP is a function of money supply and the velocity of money, and there is no faster way to spend your money than on the girls I have, who will turn right around and spend it on drugs and daycare."  The velocity of money is the number of times a single dollar is spent in a year.  A DC area pimp said international considerations are often as important, "If that whore is buying Colombian blow, from President Uribe, then it is OK, but Bolivia is not in the Republican Party's good graces right now."

All the sex workers interviewed for this article agreed that the weeks after September 11th were some of the best for DC whoring since records began, a little over 200 years ago, but none want a repeat of the event just for the business.  "Maybe just another Anthrax scare?  That didn't hurt anyone" pleads a woman who was willing to do anything to get quoted.

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