Why Conservatives Will Always Be On the Losing Side

• They never are on the lookout for their allies being corrupt.
• When someone else finds out their allies are corrupt, they never believe it, and stand by them, always looking foolish
• When all is said and done, it is always obvious that it was Conservatives holding us back
• They can't tell jokes. Drew Carey is the only conservative, and he gets most of his laughs by 1. insulting an unhealthily overweight woman he pays to dress like a clown 2. insulting his friends whom, if the dialogue is to be believed, are paid to act more stupidly than any humans on television. (i.e. the one right wing comic gets his kicks from kicking the less fortunate)